As moms we tend to push ourselves. We stay up all night with a sick kid and still wake up at the crack of dawn to get everyone out the door in the morning. We are the ones up doing laundry and making soup when everyone in the house, including us, are sick.
I push myself too far. I do it quite often and I did it this week. My LESSON: No can be a complete sentence, with no explanation, no follow up.“DARING TO SET BOUNDARIES IS ABOUT HAVING THE COURAGE TO LOVE OURSELVES EVEN WHEN WE RISK DISAPPOINTING OTHERS.” ~ BRENE BROWN
My in-laws have been coming down three times a week to help us work on our basement. My husband is only home one of those days so that leaves me helping my FIL the other two days a week as well as still being a mom, writing, taking care of the house, going to appointments, and running errands. I was already getting run down and overwhelmed then they added an extra day last week. I dropped over the edge but I did nothing to get myself back on top. Instead, I kept pushing.
As many of you know who have done the same thing, it didn’t end well. I crashed. I spent yesterday running off to cry in my bathroom in between helping my FIL work on the basement. They left early (the Universe was looking out for me), I threw some leftovers at the kids, and I lay in my bed until the kids’ bedtime and then I cried myself to sleep.
I’d like to say this is abnormal but it isn’t. I’ve driven my body, my mental state too far before. Why don’t we set boundaries? Why don’t we say no when we can see the end of our rope? Why do we fill our schedules to the brim and then wonder why we have no time?
This year is about living the life I have now. I’m finding it to be very difficult. See, I don’t like a lot of the life I have now. The problem is me though. I’m not changing the parts I don’t like. I’m not even working on a plan to change the parts I don’t like. I’m just putting one foot in front of the other; each day is a haze blending into the next.
I said no today. I said no to my in-laws coming to work on the basement next week. Instead of putting one foot in front of the other, I put my foot down. I stood up for my health and my mental well-being and I said no. It feels good. I feel relieved. You should try it. After all, if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.